Why, when we have "falta de água" (have to ration water) in my building, do I have to go to the bathroom twice as often?

Cultural ramblings

As we were talking this morning, I was painfully aware of the need to understand the culture one lives in. I say painfully because I still don't understand why someone would come to live in a different culture and not at least try to understand why where they live is how it is.
Brasil is a country of many different cultures, from the northeast to the south, from Rio to the Pantanal to the Amazon. But as different as the regional cultures are, one thing is very common: most Brasilians do not question authority, whether it be government, police, the church, or educators. What I am NOT calling for is madness or mayhem. What I would love to see is critical thinking and reasoning for one's own self. The reason I bring this up is that it presents a problem to Christians who accept everything that their pastor tells them, even if it is not true. These same pastors say that if one is questioning the work of the Holy Spirit in the pastor's life, these people are blaspheming the Holy Spirit, as if there were no room to make sure that what they are doing is from God. The Bible instructs us to test the spirits, to not accept blindly what others say. In a religious culture driven by fear, I fear that the truth of God's grace and love will make its way in too slowly to make the greatest difference possible.
But back to my original point.... I fear that we have come in without understanding that things are the way they are. Yes, they need to be changed; that is why we're here. But we can't just walk up to people and tell people they need to change their thinking. That turns one from belief in one person to belief in someone else. We have to get at the root of culture and understand why things are the way they are if there is to be any hope of spreading the gospel and teaching truth with effectiveness.

And they will know you are My disciples

I have been thinking a lot lately about how we will ever be able to draw people to Jesus. I see so much here that comes out of the Brasilian church (no matter what denomination) that makes even me, a believer and follower of Christ, disillusioned with the church. The church (throughout the world, I imagine) tells people they are going to hell because of what they do or don't do, because of whether they do bad or don't do good, when the only reason anyone will go to hell is because he still hasn't accepted the fact that Jesus is the only way to heaven. I am not going to get to heaven because I am a missionary, or because I do humanitarian work or because I am nice to people. I am going to heaven because I have accepted the death of Christ on the cross as the one thing that makes right all the good that I don't do or all the bad that I do.
I think we have to look at people not only as lost (where's the urgency if they're not?), but as people. We have to listen to their stories. We have to treat them as people. How many of you would listen to what I had to say if I came up to you telling you that you were going to hell because of (insert particular vice here)? I know that everyone has different stories, and that people need to be listened to. The hard part for me comes when someone is doing something that I know is wrong, that I want so badly to judge, and I wonder what the true story is. What in the world happened to make them make the series of decisions that led them down this road? What makes somebody choose to destroy their family? Why don't people think about the long-term effects of their decisions? Why do people take the pleasure of a moment in place of a lifetime? Those questions make me sit back and wait to decide my position until I know the whole story (and even then it's hard).
As much as I hate to confess it, showing love to these people sometimes seems unnatural and is difficult. But what am I supposed to do when that is the only way some of them will ever know who Jesus is? There is no other option, because Christ gave us the two greatest commandments (definitely summarized): love God and love your neighbor. I could be like the Pharisees and ask "Who is my neighbor?" but I prefer not to, for Jesus showed very clearly in His response to that question that the one who shows mercy and compassion is truly a neighbor. I want to show mercy and compassion, but some days I don't even know how to start.
These thoughts have been a huge reminder in my own life, because the ones that we should be closest to are sometimes the hardest to love.

So I agree with David on his comment to this previous post. Amy and I have been talking about how we wish they would make DVD's out of Brasilian novelas (which is totally not practical, since they run for 6-9 months, 6 nights a week, for an hour or so), and that we would buy the one that we really got into a couple of years ago. Turns out that I was watching a commercial for "Vale a Pena Ver de Novo" (It's worth it to see it again) the other day, and what novela were they talking about but the one Amy and I watched, Da Cor do Pecado. I watched the first episode today and am really excited to get to watch at least some of it.

Que mico que eu paguei!

Last night I went with some friends to Lapa (a part of Rio much like Bourbon Street that is packed on the weekends) to pass out tracts and talk to people about God. The night was awesome -- one friend and I stood talking to a guy for almost 2 hours because he kept asking questions!
Before we go out on the street, we have a worship service. The pastor of the church down there has known me for about the last 5 years and every time I'm down there he asks me how I'm doing and tells me how glad he is that I'm there. Last night, he decided it would be a good idea to ask me to come up and pray. In Portuguese. In front of a church full of Brasilians. I know to a lot of people that wouldn't be a big deal, but I am much better one-on-one than I am in front of a group. I'm still quite self-conscious when speaking in Portuguese, scared that I am going to make a mistake. I know that in the end God knows my heart, but I don't want to offend anyone.

Things that make me happy today

-- The fact that my friend Susanna and I are almost always going through the same things
-- Sleeping on my couch (even if it is only for 5 hours during the night)
-- Being one of 3 (yes, THREE) people to hold down a normal-sized cat during our vet clinic
-- Getting to share Brasil stories with people who have lived here
-- Knowledge that the Lord can change my attitude if I will only let Him

Things that frustrated me today

-- Not being able to talk to David for more than 2 minutes
-- Being around people who find everything to be a crisis and don't feel empowered to resolve situations
-- Feeling like my mouth doesn't work like it should when I am trying to speak Portuguese
-- Feeling like my brain doesn't work like it should when I am trying to speak Portuguese
-- People who try to make others speak English with me (for various reasons, but my guess in this particular case is a patronizing attitude) -- This didn't happen today, but it's still frustrating me. Especially since all our interpreters are great to let me struggle through my Portuguese like a little child because they want me to learn it as much as I do.

So you know you're Brazilan when.... (with selected commentary)

-You think American bathing suits are enormous. (Oh my gosh, yes!)
-You like Guarana better than Coke. (Nah, but Coca Light takes an easy first place over Diet Coke.)
-If someone tells you to be at a certain place at 1:00 pm, you don't show up until 2:30 or 3:00 p.m. (Maybe leave the house at 1:00pm)
-You know who Xuxa and Pele are. (I actually was proud of myself one time when Gilmore Girls mentioned Xuxa and I knew who she was!)
-You would rather die than see Argentina beat Brazil in soccer.
-BBQ means steak, sausage, chicken wings, pork, rice, farofa, molho and beer. (A hard choice between Brasilian and Southern!)
-You are the loudest person in the room. (That's hard to do here....)
-You travel to Brazil and instead of taking a suitcase with all your stuff, you take presents for the entire family, the dog, the neighbor, not to mention the old/used clothes that you take just in case someone needs it.
-You're so proud that you're Brazilian you tell everyone. (Does it count that I am proud to seem Brasilian?)
-You leave your house spotless when you have people coming over.
-You have a sweet ass (or you like women with them).
-You understand & speak Spanish, but when you say a word in Portuguese no one understands you. (Maybe it's just my accent.)
-You take soccer too seriously. (Or at least have memorized the game schedules so you don't have to pass by Maracanã on Sundays or Wednesdays.)
-You cried when Brazil lost the world cup. (Not too hard.)
-You know what Capoeira is.
-You know a lot about Samba and Pagode. (Aw, samba isn't hard to dance.)
-You eat rice and beans at least 7 days a week.
-Your breakfast consists of milk and coffee, bread with butter and a piece of cake.
-Everyone thinks you're everything but Brazilian. (French, German, American)
-You know who Os Trapalhoes, Turma da Monica, Zico, Caetano Veloso, Tom Jobim, Elis Regina, Ronaldinho, Jo Soares, Cazuza, Gilberto Gil, Silvio Santos, Roberto Carlos, Ayrton Senna, amd Carmem Miranda are. (They forgot Vinicius de Moraes!)
You are so used to corruption that nothing surprises you anymore. (Louisiana has nothing on this country!)
-You know how to play dominoes and cards.
-You take pictures everywhere you go.
-You know how to party, and if the party isn't over after 5am...its not a party!
-Any holiday...being it official or not, is an excuse to stay home from work and take a week vacation. (And you dread the day after a holiday because traffic, for some random reason, will be worse than normal.)
-You know what feijoada and pave are. (Gross on the first, yummy on the second.)
-You spend an entire day at the beach.
-You are too friendly. (I've started telling people my whole life story.)
-You make friends everywhere you go. (Everybody has something in common with me.)
-You own havaianas in every color imaginable. (Not yet.)
-No meal is complete without rice, farofa and feijão. (WHY, when I cook, do I feel like I have to make rice and beans?)
-You'll fly Varig even if it's a little more expensive because it's Brazilian. (Hey, it's nice!)

The call of God is always to Himself, and not to a geographical location or station in life.
Let me explain....
God calling us to Himself does not mean that He will never call us to a geographical location or station in life. What it does mean is that His call is ultimately for us to be with Him, to know Him, to trust Him, no matter where we are (geographically or otherwise). Everything that He commands has the ultimate purpose to bring us to Himself, whether it is "fun" or not, whether we want to be there or not, whether we like it or not.
Hmm....
Upon re-reading, I realized that the end of this post sounds a little bitter, which is NOT how I meant it at all. I was just trying to emphasize the fact that while a great majority of life is enjoyable, there will be times when obedience takes us to places we wouldn't have chosen outside of the will of God. And then, it's the knowledge of the will of God that keeps us there, not how much we like the place.

City travel

Mia and I went to Pão de Açucar (Sugar Loaf) today and made it there very well in a taxi. Since the dollar is so crappy right now (meaning we're getting a HORRIBLE exchange rate), I didn't want to spend that much money to get home. So we asked the information guy what buses passed by there and went to a metro station. Good idea; the metro comes very close to my apartment.
The bus ride was fine, even though it was the first time I had taken that particular route and the cord that you pull to signal the driver to stop and let you off at the next stop was broken. Or he couldn't hear. I'm not sure which. We got to the metro station without any hassle and bought our tickets. I forgot one huge detail. IT WAS 5:15 WHEN WE GOT TO THE METRO STATION. Hmm. The train arrived and was already chock full (so we thought). The guy in front of us kept pushing people farther and farther into the train (thank goodness, or Mia's arm would have been cut off by the closing doors). Mia's face was in my armpit until I graciously moved it for her. Then we started laughing. The kind that doesn't stop. I am glad of many, many things today, but I will name two here: that we didn't get to laughing too hard, and that I am not claustrophobic.

Today I am amazed at the reaction to my udpate. I have gotten some return e-mails with people saying that they are asking God just as many questions as I did last year while I was waiting, and that they are ashamed to ask Him to prove Himself over and over again. I must say that I didn't expect to hear back from so many people, and I tend to forget how big my sphere of influence actually is.
I am not inclined to share my whole life story, or even small parts of it; I generally take my time in even trying to figure out what's going on with me. So I tend to overlook the fact that sharing even little bits of what I am dealing with can help others.

I have been reading some of my friends' blogs and am realizing that they have a lot more courage than I do when it comes to sharing quite personal details of my own life, which I realize is not for everyone. I also realize that most of my friends (actually, all of them) have no idea what is going through my head at any given moment. There are some lucky ones who pay enough attention to notice my facial expressions. Those say thousands of words. Mostly because I don't even have time to process it during the day. Some days I think my brain is going to explode, and some days I even wish it would, so I could start over with a clean slate.
The worries that run through my head are generally mild, and I find that if I ruminate on them I just get stressed. Talking about them is included in the stressors. However, being the problem solver that I am, I try to take on the bigger ones and fix them. The real problem comes when I start worrying about others' lives more than I worry about my own.
I have just written an update (see below) talking about trust. I must remember that.

An overdue update

Well, it’s time for another update! Maybe past time. We have been preparing for our teams coming in and are almost ready. I have been back for 6 months and am reminded every day how much I love this country. At the same time, God is continually showing me Brasilians who are passionate for their own country to know Jesus, and who are passionate for others to become true disciples, not just nominal Christians.
I had the privilege over the Easter weekend to go to Belo Horizonte for a Youth for Christ (MPC here in Brasil) music festival, which included artists who have influenced Brasilian evangelical music very much over the last 30 years. It is amazing to see that Brasilians here are making the gospel culturally relevant, writing hymns and praise songs in local music styles (including samba!), telling Bible stories even in local dialect, and being part of a movement that is passionate about reaching Brasil on Brasil’s terms, culturally speaking.
A funny note: For those of you who don’t know much about the different regions of Brasil, the southern region of Brasil has much European (LOTS of German) influence, even down to skin, hair, and eye color. Basically, there are lots of tall, very white Brasilians in the south, simply because of their ancestry. I have had more than one taxi driver here in Rio ask me if I’m German, simply because I am tall and white. So while in BH, whenever anyone would ask me where I was from, I would tell them I was from the south and living in Rio. Most people didn’t even blink an eye and asked what state I was from (Brasil has states also). I had one guy thinking for 2 whole days I was Brasilan (before I told him I wasn’t)!
I am doing well with my language but am beginning to realize that I am still thinking very much in English. That gets frustrating when I am trying to translate things in my own mind. Please pray that God would help me to start thinking in Portuguese more often, so that I can communicate even better.
I am beginning to realize that God is using my time here in Brasil as a time of restoration, primarily of my trust in Him. I know that you all know that I spent six months waiting on a visa, and I asked Him every day why I couldn’t be here. I knew that He wanted me here, but I did not walk in an attitude of trust. I must say that I have grieved that much and God has been amazingly kind to me in showing Himself trustworthy. It reminds me of the story of Thomas, standing there looking at the resurrected Christ, yet still needing to touch Him to believe. Aren’t we all like that? How many times has God proven Himself trustworthy, yet we ask for more proof? He has proven Himself time and time again, throughout history, whether He has been believed or not. May we walk with Him in trust, even if we start with baby steps.
We have a few teams coming over the next 6 weeks, and then the craziness starts! Please pray for the following teams:
Vet clinic – Clarksville – April 28-May 4 – Parque das Missões
Volleyball team – Belmont – May 15 – May 23 – various locations
Medical team – Brentwood – May 25 – June 2 – 2nd Baptist Church Vila do João
Pray that God would prepare those who we come into contact with, and that He would prepare the teams to share His good news of His love with everyone we meet.
For He alone is worthy.

Upon going up Corcovado to see the statue Cristo Redentor (vote here to make this statue one of the New 7 Wonders of the World), we sat down to have juice. All of a sudden, we had a fly-by that was a little frightening. Turns out that one of the Red Bull Air Races is to be held on Saturday, April 21 here in Rio. After the initial fright, it was kind of fun watching the stunt plane (and the helicopter following it) practice.

I finally caved

As I think people all over the US know, the MySpace craze has taken over the internet. What most Americans may not know is that the same type of craze has taken over the internet in the rest of the world. It's called Orkut. I was so proud of myself for resisting the MySpace craze for so long. I still am. But I had to wave the white flag of surrender and sign up for Orkut. Apparently Brazilians get really disappointed when you don't have Orkut -- a way for them to keep up with what you're doing and where you are. One of my friends invited me to join, and I simply succumbed to the peer pressure. On the positive side, I am excited about being able to keep in touch with friends all over this country.

My friend Ilce and I went yesterday to buy Easter eggs. I know Easter has already passed, but you know what that means: SALE! She bought 3 eggs; I bought 4. Not sure my 4th one counts, though -- it's for my little sister (because it has a very cool SpongeBob yo-yo inside). She's 25.
Here's a short list:
Prestígio: An egg from Nestle that has milk chocolate on the outside with a coconut lining (and mini candy bars inside). I bought 2 of these -- 1 broken (it's all chocolate in the end) and 1 whole.
Sonho de Valsa Branco: As you might guess, this one has white chocolate with a filling inside.
Sponge Bob: A milk chocolate egg with a really cool yo-yo inside.
I have already eaten most of the broken Prestígio. All I can say is YUM.

Rain

I am currently listening to the sound of rain out my window. Not that wimpy sprinkling rain, but the rain that soaks in the ground and refreshes everything growing in it. The kind that is good to listen to as you go to sleep. We haven't had very much rain in Rio over the past 2 months. January had about 7 sunny days (unheard of for Rio), and then summer came in full force. Until this weekend. It's finally getting cooler (which means it's 85 instead of 90) and I am so thankful. And off to bed to listen to this glorious rain.

Som do Céu

I had the chance this past weekend to go to a music festival called Som do Céu (Sound from Heaven) that was very, very cool. It included artists who have highly influenced Christian music in Brasil in the last 30 years. They have succeeded in writing songs telling about who God is that are culturally relevant and will be listened to (if not understood) by people who would never set foot in a church. They have written songs that praise God with a samba beat, bossa nova, forró (a style of music very popular in northeast Brasil), and the Brasilian equivalent to country music. It's amazing to me how much one country can be different in the culture of its regions, but that's what happens when the people take culture into their own hands. It's beautiful.
I went with some friends and made new ones from all over Brasil, and even succeeded in making some people think I was Brasilian! But then again, I do look very much like someone from south Brasil. I am finally gaining some credibility as a Brasilian, which makes me SO happy!

The state of things at home

My desk is ridiculous. I have no less than 10 books on it, along with a calendar, my computer, a bottle of water, a bottle of Coca Light (that's Diet Coke for those of you unfamiliar with the international branding), several CD's of pictures, a mug full of pens, my computer and modem, a bottle of nail polish, a wedding invitation, and a roll of duct tape. If I listed everything, this post would never end. I am wishing my camera's batteries weren't dead so I could post a picture of it. Sadly, there's no room on here to charge them.

Friends, relatives, and welcome guests

Over the next two months, I will be playing host to a number of different people. I am headed out of town this weekend for a music festival. Then, my friend Mia arrives next Thursday to stay for 2 weeks. Our first volunteer team comes 2 days after she leaves. David comes May 18th, and my mom and sister and baby brother (I am SO excited he's coming!) come the next week. The day they arrive, our first medical team comes in. And then we don't stop until the end of October. I am getting tired just thinking about it, but I am ready!