And they will know you are My disciples

I have been thinking a lot lately about how we will ever be able to draw people to Jesus. I see so much here that comes out of the Brasilian church (no matter what denomination) that makes even me, a believer and follower of Christ, disillusioned with the church. The church (throughout the world, I imagine) tells people they are going to hell because of what they do or don't do, because of whether they do bad or don't do good, when the only reason anyone will go to hell is because he still hasn't accepted the fact that Jesus is the only way to heaven. I am not going to get to heaven because I am a missionary, or because I do humanitarian work or because I am nice to people. I am going to heaven because I have accepted the death of Christ on the cross as the one thing that makes right all the good that I don't do or all the bad that I do.
I think we have to look at people not only as lost (where's the urgency if they're not?), but as people. We have to listen to their stories. We have to treat them as people. How many of you would listen to what I had to say if I came up to you telling you that you were going to hell because of (insert particular vice here)? I know that everyone has different stories, and that people need to be listened to. The hard part for me comes when someone is doing something that I know is wrong, that I want so badly to judge, and I wonder what the true story is. What in the world happened to make them make the series of decisions that led them down this road? What makes somebody choose to destroy their family? Why don't people think about the long-term effects of their decisions? Why do people take the pleasure of a moment in place of a lifetime? Those questions make me sit back and wait to decide my position until I know the whole story (and even then it's hard).
As much as I hate to confess it, showing love to these people sometimes seems unnatural and is difficult. But what am I supposed to do when that is the only way some of them will ever know who Jesus is? There is no other option, because Christ gave us the two greatest commandments (definitely summarized): love God and love your neighbor. I could be like the Pharisees and ask "Who is my neighbor?" but I prefer not to, for Jesus showed very clearly in His response to that question that the one who shows mercy and compassion is truly a neighbor. I want to show mercy and compassion, but some days I don't even know how to start.
These thoughts have been a huge reminder in my own life, because the ones that we should be closest to are sometimes the hardest to love.