On writing, or not

Some people tell me I'm a good writer. I don't know about that, but I do know that I like to write. I find it easier to say on paper what I could never say out loud. I am uncomfortable with very much emotion in my conversations; I am a logical person and prefer to logically work things out. When emotion enters in, I get flustered and don't really know what to do. Writing opens up my world to so much more. I share doubts and fears and inadequacies like they are going out of style, and I can slowly open up those parts of myself that I am terrified for anyone else to see.
On the other hand, if I know others are going to read what I write, I temper it down so as not to bare my soul quite so much. I am scared of what people will see, and what people will think. Enter the blog. Not even half of what's on my mind gets typed onto my computer screen (all those Law & Order episodes where they search computers and know every keystroke you've made still kind of creeps me out). Some things don't make it into my journal, because they are written and could be read by anyone. Sometimes I wish I were more open and willing to talk, even to those who know me. I am an excellent builder, but not necessarily the best engineer or architect. I am very good at putting up walls, but not necessarily between me and the right people, and not necessarily in the right areas. I end up hurting a lot more than I am comfortable with (okay, so who is really comfortable hurting?), and some days I wonder if a lot of it isn't self-inflicted.
God and I have been having lots of chats lately about being naked and unashamed, like Adam and Eve were before the fall. Naked and unashamed is scary. Naked and unashamed invites either care or hurt. I don't know the percentages, but to me it seems like it is much more conducive to hurt -- in a "stand before me with all your flaws exposed and I will pronounce judgement on you" sort of way. At this point in my life, unfortunately, it seems as such with God as well. I have been like David a lot lately, expressing my anger and bitterness at God, while knowing all the while deep down in my heart that He is sovereign, that He is good, and that He wants me to walk in obedience, freedom, and fullness. Some days are hard. This is one of them.