30 November 2007

On shopping

Today, Ilce and I went to Saara (not to be confused at all with the high-end clothing stores, Zara). Saara is a HUGE flea market taking up several city blocks in downtown Rio. Think Chinatown (more specifically, Canal Street) in New York City. Without the back rooms and the police about to strike down on fake brand-name purse merchants. It was visual stimulation to the max, and I am quite happy I already knew what I wanted to buy.
Following our shopping escapade, we went to
Confeitaria Colombo, a turn-of-the (19th to 20th) century coffee and sweet shop. It is filled with history and charm, not to mention the high-quality food. It is in this coffee shop that many famous Brazilians (politicians, artists, writers, everyone who was anyone) spent hours upon hours conversing, brainstorming, writing. What better way to pass time?

24 November 2007

Thanks.... for everything

In the spirit of Thanksgiving (and making lists), here is my list of "thankfuls."
1. That I am currently in a season of rest and recuperation.
2. That I am in Brazil, doing what God has called me to do.
3. That I will soon be able to meet up with friends I haven't seen in at least a year and catch up.
4. That most of these friends are those you can just pick up with anytime, without having to actually live life together.
5. That I have a community of friends here, American, Brazilian, and other (Swedish), who live life with me.
6. That I was able to spend Thanksgiving day on vacation, getting my nails done, eating soup & ice cream by the kilogram, and dancing forró with my friend and her family.
7. The beautiful weather we are having -- it's 80-85 degrees here.
8. That I will see my family in a little under 3 weeks.

12 November 2007

On reading, and rain

So it's raining. Buckets. With no hope of stopping anytime soon. Usually, that's the kind of weather that makes me want to curl up and read a good book. As the rain beating against my windows made me seize up in a fit of boredom today, I decided to head to the mall. I have been trying to hold out as long as I could, but it was just calling to me, from 1/2 mile away. The Holy Grail of my book collection (at least for now), the one precious thing that will complete my collection: Harry Potter e as Relíquias da Morte. Ahh, doesn't that just roll off the tongue so well? You guessed it, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows has finally come out in Portuguese. And so my bilingual set is complete. Maybe one of these days I'll add a third language, but I'm happy, for now.

10 November 2007

On lists (really this time)

I am obsessed with lists. If I have a piece of paper and a pen, I scratch out those to-do's or that grocery list with heated fervor. I love making little check marks beside all the items, and I feel such a sense of power and exhilaration when everything is checked off. The problem is that after I am finished making the list, I can't always remember where I put it. Or what was on it in the first place.
I think that lists make me feel somewhat organized, though they are a reflection of what is going on inside my brain: a clutter of ideas and thoughts that refuse to stay in any kind of order. I always say, "I know there's something I forgot, but I cannot (for the life of me) remember what it is." Invariably, I remember whatever it was 2 days later, when the list is either lost or completed, or the deadline has passed.
And what's more? If I write something down and lose the list, my brain knows that I have it documented somewhere and feels free to chunk that particular piece of information into the recesses of my memory, in a place where only heavy psychoanalysis can reach. And I'm not going to see a shrink to figure out what I should have bought for dinner last night. Kind of ridiculous, huh? Maybe, just maybe, I should make a list of everything that I worry about (believe me, it's a lot) and throw it away. That's been on my to-do list for awhile....

09 November 2007

On being naked and unashamed, or not

I was writing in my journal this evening and God was gracious to bring to mind the following as I was asking Him to strip away the layers of "clothing" that I have put on to cover my nakedness and shame that comes from my sin.
In Genesis 3, verses 7 and 21, we see the difference in the two different types of clothing -- man-made and from God. Man-made clothing is flimsy and at best inadequate to cover whatever we want to cover. I think of the scene in Dead Poets Society where Todd (Ethan Hawke) is in front of the classroom talking about truth. "Mumbling truth... Truth's like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold... Y-You push it, stretch it, it'll never be enough. You kick at it, beat it, it will never cover any of us. From the moment we enter crying to the moment we leave dying, it will cover just your head as you wail and cry and scream!" Adam and Eve tried to cover their shame and nakedness with fig leaves, but that wasn't enough. Their own efforts were futile and God graciously responded by giving them clothes of His making. Of animal skins. The text doesn't specifically say, but I imagine that He would have provided the animal skins because He determined before the beginning of the world that there must be shedding of blood to atone for sin (before this, there is no mention of any animals being killed, and God didn't tell humans they could eat meat until Genesis 9). It is a theme that runs throughout the Bible, from the Old Testament Law to its culmination in Jesus Christ, who was slain to take away the sin of the world. He is our "clothing." He works in us and on us and through us to be able to present us to Himself as holy and blameless, without spot or blemish (read: naked, unashamed, and without sin) when we stand before Him. All we have to do is accept the gift that He gives.

08 November 2007

On writing, or not

Some people tell me I'm a good writer. I don't know about that, but I do know that I like to write. I find it easier to say on paper what I could never say out loud. I am uncomfortable with very much emotion in my conversations; I am a logical person and prefer to logically work things out. When emotion enters in, I get flustered and don't really know what to do. Writing opens up my world to so much more. I share doubts and fears and inadequacies like they are going out of style, and I can slowly open up those parts of myself that I am terrified for anyone else to see.
On the other hand, if I know others are going to read what I write, I temper it down so as not to bare my soul quite so much. I am scared of what people will see, and what people will think. Enter the blog. Not even half of what's on my mind gets typed onto my computer screen (all those Law & Order episodes where they search computers and know every keystroke you've made still kind of creeps me out). Some things don't make it into my journal, because they are written and could be read by anyone. Sometimes I wish I were more open and willing to talk, even to those who know me. I am an excellent builder, but not necessarily the best engineer or architect. I am very good at putting up walls, but not necessarily between me and the right people, and not necessarily in the right areas. I end up hurting a lot more than I am comfortable with (okay, so who is really comfortable hurting?), and some days I wonder if a lot of it isn't self-inflicted.
God and I have been having lots of chats lately about being naked and unashamed, like Adam and Eve were before the fall. Naked and unashamed is scary. Naked and unashamed invites either care or hurt. I don't know the percentages, but to me it seems like it is much more conducive to hurt -- in a "stand before me with all your flaws exposed and I will pronounce judgement on you" sort of way. At this point in my life, unfortunately, it seems as such with God as well. I have been like David a lot lately, expressing my anger and bitterness at God, while knowing all the while deep down in my heart that He is sovereign, that He is good, and that He wants me to walk in obedience, freedom, and fullness. Some days are hard. This is one of them.

07 November 2007

They're here!

Okay, so they've been here for a month, but it's been fun passing them on the street. Every time I find a new one I'm excited. I know that people who don't live here wouldn't necessarily appreciate them, because they are definitely made by Brazilian artists and have everything to do with the culture of Rio. The CowParade is fun!

04 November 2007

Flashback

I was at some friends' house today getting music from them and was taken back to my childhood. They, being close to my age, have lots of 80's and 90's music. I saw some Van Halen on there, and it took me back to junior high, listening to "Right Now" and drinking Clear Pepsi (marketed as Crystal Pepsi). After a search on
Wikipedia, I discovered that the two were paired for an ad campaign which premiered at Super Bowl XXVII.
Ah, the lost days of my youth....

03 November 2007

I want to....

-read all the Pulitzer prize-winning novels
-drink more water
-eat more fresh foods, including fruit and vegetables
-exercise regularly
-go back to Italy (more than once)
-go to the Bahamas
-hike the Appalachian Trail (yes, the whole thing)
-visit Napa Valley
-finish my list of books to read (which grows considerably longer daily, mostly in Portuguese)
-read through the Bible
-branch out more in the kitchen
-discover God daily
-learn to speak Italian
-write a book
-get on a reasonable sleep cycle
-practice self-discipline
-own and decorate my own house
-make culture
-get married

Thanks to the fun folks at 43 Things for the idea. Love to know what you want to do!